A leaked audio of German generals planning an attack on Russian soil, has caused a wave of nostalgia and panic throughout Europe. Anderson Shelters have popped up across the landscape and stockpiles of canned spam are now at an all-time low. Said one veteran: 'We've only just got over the last World War. Peace in our lifetime? We've barely had peace in our lunchtime.'
Russia is naturally reluctant for a rematch, partly because of the millions of casualties but mainly because their fear they cannot squeeze into their old uniforms. Also, there are some concerns as to who gets to be the baddies this time – as everyone thought it would be America.
Germany was bullish about the diplomatic crisis: ‘It was just a giggle, a bit of banter. Yes, we said we'd launch missiles at Russia - but it’s such a big place, who'd notice? Besides, it would only be a small World War and, as they say, third time lucky.'
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