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Glasgow to be ‘nuked’ as part of the Commonwealth Closing Ceremony

One city councillor said: ‘This explosion is really going to put Glasgow back on the map. In so far, as it will now show up at a large, irradiated crater. We are creating a post-apocalyptic wilderness full of unintelligible, pasty-faced zombies and asking the public to spot the difference.’

Another upbeat Glaswegian commented on the deep-fried mushroom cloud: ‘Nuclear winter? It cannae be worse than the real thing?’

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