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Healthy workers don't know they are sick yet

With record numbers of workers unfit for work, the question is - when will everyone else keel over? A doctor explained: 'Working will make you ill. Anyone who thinks they are well enough to work is sick - mentally. Those who are working, are dead, they just don't know it yet.'

By 2026 seventeen UK workers will be signed off with stress, which doesn't sound like much, until you realise those seventeen workers are doing all the jobs. An employee quipped: 'You don't have to be mad to work here but it helps if you have medical insurance and psychiatrist on speed dial.'

One Daily Mail editor remarked: 'I've been called sick all life, which is odd because I've never missed a day of work.'

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