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Herschel space telescope finds solitary UKIP supporter

Although media outlets have likened it to a political supernova, eclipsing all the others, most astronomers agree that UKIP is barely visible in the political firmament. Bemused by the press hyperbole, one scientist concluded: ‘Our telescope was launched to measure the birth of stars and the evolution of galaxies, not the limitless void between Nigel Farage’s ears. Please get some perspective; UKIP polled less voters than Ashleigh & Pudsey. And one of those two is a dog. A dancing dog!

While it’s a cause for concern that some voters have no taste in TV; in terms percentage of population it’s really very small. I’d advise Britain’s 8.2million immigrants to join UKIP and then vote to have the original 20,000 inbred members deported!'

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