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Writer's pictureWrenfoe

Hey, whaddya know, energy companies still make huge profits?!?



Much to everyone’s surprise, Shell has doubled its profits, at exactly the same time it increased its prices. Said one gobsmacked motorist: ‘It’s almost as if there wasn’t a shortage of oil or gas after all. Next, you’ll be telling me, there’s no tooth fairy.’


Energy giants denied profiteering: ‘These billion-pound dividends are the result of judicious savings – for instance, we’ve cancelled our Netflix subscription and started to shop at Lidl. The war in Ukraine has reduced the flow of electricity to Europe, particularly solar energy - as we all know the sun only shines out of Zelensky’s arse.’


Asked if they thought the price of oil and gas would continue to rise, said: ‘I think you can bet the house on that – that’s if you can still afford the mortgage.’





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