UN representatives have admitted to an impasse in negotiations for a lasting peace over television priorities during the festive period. There seems to be little compromise between those who want ugly sweaters/garish lights and those who prefer boring rituals involving carrots and twee Victorian doodads. Families have been split asunder, often descending into a bloody conflict with both sides employing the 'Vicar of Dibley - Xmas Special' to tragic effect.
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