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Home-brewed morphine to replace Saturday Night TV

Scientists suggest that taking morphine is an easier way to numb your mind and a far more reliable form of pain relief, than ‘You’ve been Framed’. A Health Official warned about the dangers of a potentially fatal dose but admitted that it is ‘no worse’ than ‘Britain’s Got Talent’. Side effects may include slow breathing and severe drowsiness – but the same is true of morphine. They said: ‘As analgesics go, morphine is usually available in an easy to swallow tablet form. Whereas, you have to stick Saturday night TV right up your arse for it to work’.

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