top of page

Huge potential boost in toy sales as Acton Man joins Stevenage Woman in desire to see Tories out



Palitoy shareholders are anticipating a significant sales boost for their Action Man toy after Acton Man met with Stevenage Woman at a dogging site north of Potters Bar and agreed to work together to see the Conservative party out of power.

Such is the excitement at the potential sales growth, that Palitoy will be launching Stevenage Woman as a plug and play accessory toy to their Action Man range in a similar way that Ken became a Barbie accessory toy.


It is hoped that Stevenage Woman will be in the shops in time for Christmas provided that Palitoy is able to come to a compromise with their lesbian and trans workers over how the toys are to me marketed. The Palitoy sales team think this may be possible if the toys are sold as a multipack with two Stevenage Women, a trans Action Man and a BBC Action Man, although they are are anxious to ensure this one doesn't look at all like Philip Schofield.


Newsbiscuit approached the Mary Whitehouse Foundation for their view on the mulipack and were told it completely approves of the concept of having male dolls to accompany female dolls as it supports their family values ideology, but they hoped the toys would come with a warning that children should avoid having the couple with the BBC male figure live next door to the white couple.


A spokesdominatrix for ITV told us it would be a brilliant way for children hoping for a career in advertising or writing crap sitcoms, to have Stevenage Woman and BBC couple as toys to imagine scenarios for an updated remake of Love Thy Neighbour and coffee commercials in which the couple from next door knock to ask if their neighbours can spare a spoonful or two of coffee as well as being up for a bit of lesbian and cuckold fun.

image from pixabay


78 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

Performative Stupidity – A de Pfeffel Masterclass

Runs a video of a befuddled, ex-PM, stumbling out of a polling office, having forgotten his ID. Freeze frame – Can we really tell how real this is? After years of creating an image of a jolly, bumblin

bottom of page