Shares of the smartphone rose by nearly 5% as news reached Wall Street that another Democratic ‘schlong’ was about to go viral on Twitter. The New York mayoral candidate, Anthony Weiner, quickly confirmed that the release on new lewd photos was a key part of the iPhone’s new marketing campaign.
We interviewed one over-excited consumer: ‘Last time was like soooo amazing!’ she gushed. ‘Ya, Carlos Danger is like hot. Bill Clinton was a Nokia 3310 but Weiner makes my iCloud moist’. Apple have produced a series of grainy underwear shots with the tagline: ‘Why not capture a 240 degree panoramic view of the Grand Canyon…or your k$ob? Weiner guarantees 4.5 inches and a stream that won’t stop.’