Jazz gig will start 'whenever we like, man... this is jazz!'

Jazz purists have insisted that to be considered cool, jazz gigs must no longer provide start times for shows because jazz 'doesn't begin or end, it just flows'.

The policy has attracted criticism from slightly less cool jazz aficionados who now have to use vibes to estimate where and when the gigs actually are. These main stream losers run the risk of being insufficiently smug, should they miss out.

'I thought I was listening to some really avant garde stuff' scatted one, throwing his beret to the ground in disgust. 'Turns out it was a homeless guy clinking bottles of meth off the side of a shopping trolley and yelling at pigeons. I listened for 45 minutes. To be honest, I prefer the guy's earlier, less commercial stuff.'

Photo by Dolo Iglesias on Unsplash