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Julian Assange was one day from finishing his tunnel



The Wikileaks founder is said to be 'gutted' to be given his freedom, before being able to crawl through a sewer and have an emotional reunion with Morgan Freeman. His lawyer said: 'Julian spent five years with a rock hammer trying to make a daring escape. This is such an anticlimax. He never even got to do his Sidney Carton/Charles Darnay switcheroo. They didn't even let him keep his Rita Hayworth poster.


'He will never use his fake German papers or ride a motorbike alongside the Swiss border. Mr. Assange says he felt he had wasted five years building replica dummies and his fake vaulting horse. What was the point of being encased in carbonite, if he could just walk out of Jaba's Palace? In the end, Julian had to be forcibly removed from his cell, as he called his captor a Count of Monte Cristo - or at least the word sounded like 'Count'.




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