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Labour MP too right-wing for the Tories

The frustrated backbencher complained: ‘I've been screwing over the working class for the past decade. I love the Big Pharma, Small Pharma, even Medium sized Pharma. I’m all for the Arms industry. Hell, any hands, knees and boomps-a-daisy industry. Privatizing hospitals? Where do I sign up? I’ll paint my red rosette blue. I’ll swear allegiance to Beelzebub and lick Theresa May’s kitten heels. Just let me in’.

One Labour voter seemed unsurprised by the closet Tory: ‘I guess when their only policy is to mimic the right-wing, that’s not opposition, that’s envy’.

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