Evoking a feel of 1970's pyrotechnics, National Rail will be using dry ice to remove obstructions and introduce a song by Slade. It will also help conceal any rises in fares, through a mystical display of light, sound and share dividends.
The dry ice will make any leaves brittle but also cover up the transition between bands and the worst excesses of platform shoes. Rail firms had considered using other elements from Top of the Pops to clear the lines, but trials of DJ Jimmy Saville ended up clearing all the younger commuters, instead.
One driver explained: 'It’s very exciting. As I approach the platform through the swirling mist, you don't know if I’m the 7.52 from Paddington or Suzi Quatro'.