Letting wine breathe is bollocks, confirms expert
The concept that leaving the cork out of a bottle of wine before imbibing is 'bollocks', according to a wine expert. Fred Engles, of no fixed abode, has been drinking wine for years, sometimes from a glass.
'Never left a bottle to breathe,' he said today, noting that wine doesn't have lungs, a mouth or any need for oxygen at all. 'It doesn't have a cardiovascular system, a bit like me,' he said. 'If I left a bottle to breathe, them bastards from the viaduct will have it away anyway,' he insisted.
'Now this is a cheeky little chardonnay, or perhaps paraffin extract - you can't really tell with Australian imports,' said Fred, swilling the bottle around. 'Best served with Brie. Or anything actually. Whatever is in the bin.'
Get more NewsBiscuit humour on Amazon
