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London saved by water canons and one big clown

A terrorist attack on Westminster was foiled yesterday by the swift deployment of Boris Johnson's three water cannons. Sitting astride the gun turret, Mr. Johnson hosed down bystanders and removed graffiti in what was described as a heroic display of water sports. His spokesman said: ‘Water is the natural enemy of terrorists – or is that witches? Anyway water will solve anything – except grease fires – or Mogwai – either way we should all fear Boris’ steady stream’.

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