After a long search and recruitment process, the Department of Culture, Media and Sport were pleased to announce yesterday that Lucifer, former Prince of Darkness, was approved as the new head of OFCOM.
"It's been a long journey, but we're pleased with the outcome." Said a spokesperson for the DCMS yesterday. "While both of our final candidates impressed with their commitment to pure evil and eradication of joy, the Morning Star stood out with his ideas for future innovation; while the other applicant we felt was too focussed on the issues affecting OFCOM being the EU and the influx of immigrants into the country."
The incoming chair was excited by the role and what he hoped to bring, remarking, 'I'm looking forward to beginning my tenure at the head of the UK's communication industry. I'd like to thank the many Conservative MPs who I'm in league with, or who are paying back for selling their souls in 2019 for their supporting letters to the DCMS. I assure you that under my reign, we shall continue the roll-out of 5G and all its mind-controlling properties; as well as pressuring the BBC to keep making Mrs Brown's Boys.'