top of page

Lung Cancer still the coolest of cancers



Scientists and guys with leather jackets have hailed the number of smokers reaching the one billion mark as a ringing endorsement of hazy jazz clubs, pulmonary disease and Dot Cotton. A pro-cancer spokesman said: ‘This summer, malignant growths will be the new black...and brown...and yellowish green’.


Anti-smoking campaigns wilfully ignore the fact that cigarettes conveniently trim off the least attractive years from our lives. One tobacco expert explained: ‘Despite smoking killing five times more people than road accidents, overdoses, murder, suicide and HIV all put together; who wouldn’t want the body of Chris Moyles, the face of Keith Richards and the smell of Pete Doherty?’


One hardened smoker admitted: ‘I might not be James Dean but I can grow a tumour that looks like him’.


IMAGE: https://pixabay.com/photos/smoking-cigarette-man-male-tobacco-397599




47 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

Using its billionaire dollar empire, Facebook intends to purchase creative ownership of large portions of the English language and a significant portion of the air you breathe. A Facebook executive e

Disguised under the pretext of a kit launch, Britain’s athletes took time out of their busy schedule - of avoiding drug tests - to show off more bulging pectorals than a Zac Efron calendar. Oiled lik

Data suggests a sharp decline in moronic decisions from Saturday to Sunday, leading to unsustainable levels of happiness throughout the nation and the accusation that the Government are only 'part-tim

bottom of page