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Man distraught after discovering ‘wedding breakfast’ isn’t a posh fry-up

Paul Smith from Eastleigh is now entering the fifth day of a sulk, after discovering too late that a wedding breakfast isn’t the ‘fry up in a tux’ he had been both imagining and looking forward to since receiving his invitation eight months prior.

The 23 year-old shop assistant had never been invited to a wedding before, so was both surprised and delighted to discover that his friends would be celebrating their matrimony with a cooked breakfast followed by a champagne reception.

‘I genuinely thought they were recreating our ‘Spoons breakfast with a pint’ student days, but in a more upmarket fashion.’ says Paul. ‘You can imagine my surprise then, when someone put a plate of potato fondant and some piped pink prawn rubbish sprinkled with grass in front of me. I was so cross. I had even turned down paying the extra tenner at the Premier Inn for breakfast that morning so I could save myself for the wedding breakfast. What a crock of shite.’

Despite being ‘the worst day of [his] life’ the occasion took an unexpected positive turn for the 23 year-old. ‘On the plus side, during the speeches, one of the bridesmaids mistook my tears of bitterness and loathing for me being in touch with my emotional side and found it super attractive, so we went back to my hotel.’ said Paul. ‘Let’s just say, at least there was one of us who wasn’t disappointed by a lack of sausage.’

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