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Man told to stop picking his nose for ideas

His wife complained: ‘He primarily communicates through stamping feet, Neolithic grunts and writing on stone tablets with his own excrement. I’ve tried distracting him with brightly coloured bits of string but he will insist on eating the play-pit sand. Oh, what now?’ she sighed. ‘You’ll have to excuse me, my toddler is teaching him to lick the plug socket’.

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