Updated: Feb 9
A man with a complete lack of spine has been able to run the country, thanks donations from his privileged backers. It is the first time someone who has had a complete lack of any moral standards been able to rule the UK freely. It has improved his health so much that he has been able to become a father again, twice.
Boris Johnson was desensitised after years at Eton and Cambridge - and he has no feeling at all. But he can now party almost every night with no repercussions, despite the country going to rack and ruin. Someone this damaged should never have been allowed to rise to power.
The researchers stress the only real cure is a general election, but it is still too complicated to be used in everyday life, but hail it nonetheless as a major step to improving quality of life.
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