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Man with no pets traumatised by advice to keep pets safe during storm

Mike Holloway, a double glazing installer from Batley, says he’s worried about safety advice given to local people as the biggest storm since the last biggest storm arrives in the UK.

‘It’s bloody terrifying,’ said a visibly distraught Mr Holloway. ‘How can I keep pets inside if I don’t have any? I haven’t got a dog to not take out for a walk, and I never replaced the cat after the great steam roller incident of 1987.’

A council spokesperson said they were issuing Mr Holloway with an emergency pet. ‘Bastard,’ a 320-pound Rottweiller with multiple criminal convictions and usually on guard duty at the Scabbers Lane recycling depot, will be stepping up and keeping Mr Holloway safe until it all blows over.

image from pixabay

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