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Minister promises jam tomorrow…if by tomorrow you mean 3,650 days later

She said: ‘It’s a long-term goal, in glacial terms. Jam for everyone, just not any time soon. After all, we do have more pressing concerns – like continental shift. And there’s no point in rushing things, not if we can go slower. Think of it like 25% extra time in exams, plus a few decades, just for good measure.

‘Although to our credit, we can normally f$ck things up in half the time’.

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