Musk selling blue ticks ‘tuppence a bag’



Elon Musk – a high tech version of Dickens’ Scrooge – has said that blue ticks on Twitter accounts will now cost $8/month as that is the amount that Musk believes the identities of peasants are truly worth. Many Twitter employees will now not only be sacked, but also blasted into space in a Tesla.


Musk has a history of making unusual and outrageous claims, including that Elon is a normal name. He recently confirmed that he was an arsehole having a mid-life crisis by wearing a leather jacket and saying he would vote Republican. Musk was recently voted the billionaire most likely to become a Bond villain, one #HollowedOutVolcano at a time.


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