top of page
Writer's pictureNewsBiscuit

Nation leaves Boris unattended


Man-baby Boris was left to play with flammable items such as matches, Brexit negotiations and the nuclear launch codes. Age 52 ¾, he is best described as an awkward child, whose clumsy antics on zip wires and with women not his wife, are well-documented. Staff at the Foreign Office attest to seeing Mr. Johnson wandering around in his pyjamas and in a confused state, asking: ‘What’s Article 50? Where’s Nanny? And who’s up for some rumpy pumpy?’


An NSPCC spokesman said: ‘Boris isn’t just for Xmas or the referendum – he’s going to chewing up the furniture and UK trade agreements for years to come. You wouldn’t leave a dog unattended for an extended period of time and the same applies to Boris. A dog would quickly get distressed, start defecating and gnawing at his own balls…and the same applies to Boris.’


If you enjoyed this archive item, why not buy thousands of archive stories found in our eBooks, paperbacks and hardbacks?























34 views
bottom of page