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NHS almost kills Farage - told to 'try harder' next time

Further evidence has emerged of public health-care under-funding, as the NHS is failing to meet its target for killing off elderly racists. Doctors were forced apologise for the oversight and promised to do everything they could to give Jeremy Clarkson a dignified exit.

One Health Official admitted: ‘If he’d had access to private medical insurance he would have been killed humanely, without having to deal with our exorbitant carpark charges. The NHS needs to prioritize those in greatest need of a pillow over their face. Politicians like Nigel Farage deserve to be fast-tracked to an abattoir of their choice. Almost is not good enough’.

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