‘No, not that kind of racism’ say Tories

Following Euro 2020, leading Conservatives like Boris Johnson and Priti Patel have remembered to quickly condemn the kind of racists who have been a bit too obvious about it, for being too obvious about it.


A Tory grandee interrupted his supper to bloviate: ‘You can't just say you don't like black people. That's racist and wrong. Instead, you heavily imply you don’t like black people by saying that taking the knee is gesture politics or Marcus Rashford should stick to football. Or you can condone it by implication, like refusing to criticise booing racists or needlessly cutting the foreign aid budget. That's populist and right and makes sure it’s a vote winner with our core demographic, white English xenophobes.’


‘You’ve got to keep your racism classy’ he continued, before belching deeply.


‘Populism equals racism plus time – that’s the Boris formula. That and wallpapering over his infidelities.’

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