August 2024
The Paris Olympics come to an end. Britain wins 65 medals and comes in third behind the USA and China. More importantly, we are top in Europe, and we get more medals than Australia.
To tarnish Olympic success, the month is marred by summer rioting. This is fuelled by nonsense spread by social media, which is lapped up by the gullible. After warming up (ha!) on winter fuel payments, Keir Starmer continues to play the tough guy. He releases some old lags from prison to make more cells available to lock up the rioters.
UK water companies are fined millions for sewage spills. Again. Does this happen every month? It seems to.
In the entertainment world, police issue an arrest warrant for Katie Price after she fails to attend a bankruptcy hearing. And Harry and Meghan go to Colombia to ‘make the internet safer for children’. And to promote their charity work. And themselves. How could they choose Colombia over the Edinburgh Festival?
In overseas news, Ukraine, Gaza.
In the US, a judge rules that Google have an illegal monopoly over internet searches. Finally, an American news story that isn’t about the US Election.
Here is a selection of the top stories from August 2024. Click through to read the stories and the author credits. Scroll down to see some of the month’s best headlines.
Crime and punishment
Politics
Sport and entertainment
Other news
Headlines
GCHQ close to decoding rules for cycling Keirin
'I take my job as an MP seriously,' wins joke of the Fringe
Puppeteer offers to explain string theory
Search for 'Google's illegal online monopoly' yields no results
Top uni accepts students with 25m back stroke certificate
Police tasked with arresting Katie Price have no idea what she looks like
Builder who lost his plans of the stairs told to retrace his steps
Israel and Hamas, in a rare show of unity, agree to continue hostilities
Starmer pledges to transform UK steel industry into no-steel industry
No signs of green shoots on Conservative party stump
‘The UK is too dangerous for me and my family’ says Harry as he lands in Colombia
English tourist resort attracts more visitors with rioting mini breaks
Image credit: Wix
A new study by the Institute for Political Awareness reveals that most UK citizens don’t know who the Prime Minister is. When asked directly, 87% of respondents either shrugged, Googled it, or named someone from Strictly Come Dancing.
Since winning the 2024 general election, Starmer has largely governed in peace — mostly because the public isn’t watching – but also because he has mastered the skill of invisible leadership.
We showed a photo of Starmer to some people in the street, to see what reaction we got.
‘He’s sort of… President of the UK,’ said 23-year-old Aaliyah, ‘but I haven’t heard him do anything lately. Has he been cancelled?’
Other respondents asked if Rishi Sunak was still PM, and if Boris Johnson was coming back.
And someone insisted ‘that lettuce’ was still in charge.
Story credit: wurstcasenews
Picture credit: perchance AI