MPs have lined up to express their anguish and anger over the fact that Sir Keir Starmer didn’t have a secret life. A recently elected representative (who wished only to be known as ‘AB’) said, 'I am deeply upset that someone who claimed to be a leader was not a serial womaniser or embezzler. I mean he didn’t have numerous affairs or parked an illegitimately gained motorhome outside number 11.
'We knew when we elected him that he seemingly didn’t have a dodgy past, had a good employment record outside of politics, and wasn’t high in the charisma stakes. Come to think about it, might be a factor in us winning a 2024 election landslide and destroying the Tory party.
'But that is all in the past. To our dismay we are now finding he is exactly what he purported to be. Boring! His only compulsive hoarding was some pencil sharpeners!! What we need is someone diametrically opposite to lead the Labour Party, and the nation, into the 22nd century!! Someone like me who is charismatic and err..... this is off the record right? '
Image credit: ChatGPT (edited)
