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Nobody’s going to fantasize about Jerry Hall now, boasts Murdoch

Anyone who once carried a flame for the Texan socialite is now facing the unpleasant prospect of a liver-spotted antipodean toad leering into view. Announcing their forthcoming nuptials and Mr. Murdoch’s inevitable funeral, the loved-up pair spoke of their shared love of modelling and Press Inquiries. Leaving us with the unsavoury image of Mr. Murdoch doing to Ms. Hall, what he has been doing to journalistic ethics for the past fifty years.

Ms. Hall, who famously advised all women to a ‘be a maid in the living room, a cook in the kitchen and a whore on Page Three’, can now look forward to two happy years of marriage and twenty affluent years of bereavement. For Ms. Hall this relationship is a natural musical progression; from the avant-garde Bryan Ferry to the rock’n’roll Jagger and finally to jazz-funk fusion that is Rupert Murdoch.

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