Old Mr Farage ‘would have got away with it’ if it weren’t for those pesky journos
Dramatic scenes at the old abandoned fairground yesterday when the Chief of Police attempted to rip a hideous latex mask from the monster who’s been terrorising the town. It turned out not to be a mask, he really looks like that. In all other respects, though, it was a fair cop.
‘We first became suspicious when we saw limp flags hanging from lampposts’, one of the journalists said. Probably the lesbian one. ‘Yeah’, said the hench one with perfect teeth and a girlfriend. ‘They looked ridiculous, like Britain had sent the world a flaccid dickpic. Something was wrong!’
The motley crew of maverick journalists investigated and discovered that Old Man Farage was running a scam!
‘He’d used fear to stop the townsfolk looking into his tax affairs’, said Shaggy, the cowardly beanpole with a talking dog. ‘All that talk of Sharia courts and fighting-age men was just a smokescreen’.
‘Bah!’ said Old Man Farage as he was led away. ‘I would have got away with it if it weren’t for you pesky journalists, like in the headline’.
Have you been affected by any of the issues in this story? Perhaps you own an abandoned ghost train, or maybe your dog speaks better English than a Reform voter? We’re using AI chatbots now, feel free to waste a couple of hours trying to get some sense out of them. What the hell, we can say we’ve discharged our duties and it’s incredibly cheap.
Image: ChatGPT
