Peace in Syria more likely than Brexit
Despite five years of civil war and 250,000 fatalities, Syrian opposition factions have managed to do something that Theresa May was unable to do – actually ‘have a plan’. The transition to end the war will take just six months, as opposed to Brexit’s glacial speed – which is at risk of being overtaken by a three-toed sloth on marijuana.
Brexit delays have been blamed on dealing with Syrian immigration, although Syrian diplomats can only wish they had that problem. Meanwhile, using the Geneva Communiqué, Syrian factions will commit to a truce; whereas using the back of a cigarette packet, Mrs May’s EU-free vision commits us to gym membership, caravanning in Devon and two extra pints of milk.
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Five go Dobbing in the Neighbours