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Petrol pumps to be recalibrated to show contribution to oil company profits

Petrol pumps run by BP, Shell and others are to be recalibrated to show in real time how much you are contributing to the profits of big oil every time you fill up your car, it has been confirmed.

‘Look, everyone knows we are making a sickening amount of money every time you touch that petrol pump’, said Mike Stetson, Chief Executive of lobbying firm, Oil be Back.

‘It’s about time we now celebrated this greed in all its’ obscene glory.'

‘Look, there we go, you spilt a drop as you tried to wiggle the pump back into the holster. That’s an extra quid into our pockets – thanks a lot, mate, it all counts

image from pixabay

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