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PM dumbs down ministerial code to make it more comprehensible to himself

The Prime Minister has removed the words "honesty, integrity, transparency and accountability" from the ministerial code, it has been revealed.

'Boris just doesn't understand what these words mean', said a source close to the PM. 'His face just goes blank whenever they're mentioned'.

An aide is said to have attempted to help him understand, but was asked by the PM to only use single syllable words if at all possible as his head was starting to hurt.

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