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PM spends weekend at Chequers with fizz and Netflix

Markets eased pressure on the pound and gilts late Friday as news spread that UK Prime Minister Liz Truss had cancelled constituency meetings in Norfolk and had, instead, headed for Chequers in Buckinghamshire. The official line was that the Prime Minister was using the time to polish up her plans to convince the UK she was in control of the country and the economy, however leaked reports indicated she'd raided the drinks cabinet and was curled up on the sofa watching rom-coms back-to-back on Netflix.

'While she isn't making policy decisions, she isn't destroying the country,' said a finance specialist. Kimberly Clark, manufacturers of the Kleenex brand, have reported a sudden boost in government purchases, especially in the Buckinghamshire region and have seen a commensurate boost to its share price. 'Looks like growth, growth, and growth,' said a Kimberly Clark spokesman, admitting that the use of an Oxford comma might cost it lucrative NHS contracts. 'To be fair, the Kleenex boost will cover that,' he added.

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