All children know the story of The Funktastic Prince - living with two ugly sisters (played by Rick James and George Clinton) and the seven dwarfs of the Revolution. Unfortunately squabbling over his inheritance has swelled the cast of characters to include hundreds of new fictitious relatives.
A state judge has ruled that 29 separate claims to musician’s estate have not met basic fairy-tale plausibility; involving a combination of frog kissing and the removal of a sword from stone. ‘We will be adopting the glass slipper metric, matching a DNA sample of foot fungal scrapings, taken from a paisley sneaker - size 4, circa 1985.’
Unable to wake him from his magical slumber, caused by the opioid Fentanyl, no claimant has yet squeezed into the Prince's uber-skinny lamé leggings. 'Who shall ever make this purple crop-top/chain-mask combo work, will be wed to $300m. And I'll bet five magic beans and a bag of Prince's magic fairy dust, that the balance will be in the red by midnight.’
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