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Putin impregnates Crimea

Despite promises to ‘pull out’ at the right moment, NATO observers have concluded that the Russian President has reneged on his agreement to just fondle the Urals and stay at ‘first (army) base’.

A Moscow spokesman defended his country entering the Ukraine without democratic elections or lubrication: ‘If Russia and Crimea want to cum together, why worry about birth control? Anyway, ultimately, protection is the Ukraine’s responsibility’.

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