A group of the country's prominent rats in a sack is understood to have lodged a complaint with Tory Campaign Headquarters, citing the party's current leadership race is showing them in a particularly agreeable light.
Their spokesman, Roger, told reporters. 'OK, so we'd be the first to concede we're the lowest of the low. But it's what we do. We traditionally are the gold standard in unpalatable and vile sickening behaviour. But this shower of shite makes us look angelic and cuddly. We can't be doing with it.
'So this afternoon we have written to the party, asking they instruct candidates in the leadership race to behave with a modicum of decorum, get a grip and start conducting themselves like proper overprivileged toffs; not a bunch of pissed-up yobbos rolling around muddy puddles in a pub car park.'
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