A man whose ancestor painted the Cistine Chapel ceiling has found that none of his exquisite artistry has been passed down.
When Mary Thompson asked husband Derek to give the kitchen ceiling a lick of paint, she did so in the confidence that he’d do a excellent job knowing his great, great, great, great, great, great, grandfather was the Renaissance supremo, Michelangelo.
“Derek made a huge deal about tracing his ancestry back to 16th century Italy, and he was like a peacock on speed when the ancestry results revealed a direct hereditary link to one of humanity’s greatest artists.
“He moaned and whinged for weeks before: the light wasn’t right, the surface was uneven, even the paint wasn’t the right shade of white. I thought he’s definitely got some of Michelangelo’s perfectionist qualities. I couldn’t have been more wrong.
“When he finally started painting I couldn’t believe my eyes. It went everywhere: onto the walls, dripping all over the surfaces, there was more on him than the ceiling. It was a total f**king mess. And how do you give yourself an electric shock and kill four goldfish painting a ceiling?
“I wasn’t expecting the Cistine Chapel, but he’d have done a better job spreading the paint with a dead octopus instead of a brush.”
Tortured artist, Thompson, said: “Michelangelo got handsomely paid for his work, all I’ll get is farmed out by Mary to friends and neighbours for free. Do you know how personally gruelling it was for me to do such a shit job?”
Image stux - Pixabay