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Rishi Sunak to invest NHS annual budget at the bookies

Several sources have claimed today that Rishi Sunak is planning to fix the parlous state of UK debt by investing the NHS annual budget at the bookies.

Following a recent spate of high profile political bets - including the billionaire PM himself betting 1000 pounds on deporting vulnerable asylum seekers to Rwanda - senior Tories are said to be pushing for ‘one last throw of the dice’.

Given that the odds of the Tories winning the next General Election are currently 1000-1, several economists close to Rishi Sunak are said to have outlined how even a 1000 pound bet on the forthcoming election could deliver a cool 1 million in winnings!

While some backbenchers have pointed to the poor betting record of recent Conservative governments – such as David Cameron putting everything on red at the Brexit referendum (it came up black) – several Tory ministers are said to be highly enthusiastic:

‘We think investing the entire NHS Budget at the bookies is a genius idea. If we get this right, we can pay off the entire UK debt forever when we win the General Election – and what a great campaign slogan that is!’

Ladbrokes, William Hill and Paddy Power have all been approached for comment.

image from pixabay

writer: jbpage

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Mar 10

As advised by the experts at 55 Tufton Street who have shaped Tory policy for decades, culminating with their greatest winner - Lettuce Liz.

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