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SAS selection to include thesaurus and dictionary in Bergen

The already tough selection process to join the elite Special Air Service that includes a one hundred mile hike in the Brecon Beacons with a Bergen loaded with seventy pounds of rocks and a bar of Kendal Mint Cake is to now include writing aids, laptops and packet of mints to suck while waiting for writing inspiration.

'Too many SAS soldiers are reaching retirement without the basic skills in drafting chapters, plotting exciting story arcs and creating unbelievable main characters,' said Major Everard Fitz-Williams today. 'When they turn up for selection they are all often accomplished in drinking beer, telling tall tales and honing imposter syndrome symptoms, but most can't put all of those useful traits together to produce a useful, compelling narrative that will sell in the millions and make them, and our agents, implausibly rich,' suggested the Major, who also admitted he was looking at moving into book publishing in the near future.

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