Shadow Cabinet on a ‘gap yah’


With all the hallmarks of a mid-life crisis, the Opposition has ceased to do its job and instead decided to take up bass guitar lessons. Reports suggest that some MPs are now having spider tattoos, motorbike holidays and have taken up hemp weaving. One said: ‘‘I just wanted to adopt a cat, you know? I’d reached that stage. Yoga wasn’t doing it for me. The kids had left home. And I just said, why not? Why not? Oh, I’m also getting a genital piercing. Cool, huh?’





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