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Sturgeon no longer sustainable, stick with old trout – says May

Mrs. Sturgeon has been serving up deep-fried codswallop for many years, but Independence now sounds distinctly fishy and is off the menu. Stocks of meaningful pledges are at an all-time low, with Scotland done up like a kipper.

Ironically Nicola Sturgeon has long been a vital source of Scottish nationalism but there is only so much bilge that voters can swallow. One demotivated campaigner said: ‘Asking for referendum after referendum is not sustainable – it’s just depressing. Some mornings I get up and ask myself, is there a cod?’

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