top of page

Suicide an ‘effective way’ to lower social security budget.

A pioneering study has revealed that dead people are substantially less likely to claim benefits. A right-wing think tank claimed: ‘With a concerted effort to depress the populace, tax credits could easily be replaced with a bottle of sleeping pills; while the welfare safety-net could be made into a fetching noose. Why worry about eating, when you can just stop? For us it’s about consumer choice. And we encourage them to choose natural selection’.

Said one junior minister: ‘We need to ratchet up the austerity. With a slightly bleaker outlook, we could turn many of these suicide ‘attempts’ into actual completions. We just need people to kick the habit of handouts by kicking the bucket’.

If you enjoyed this archive item, why not buy thousands of archive stories found in our eBooks, paperbacks and hardbacks?

Earth to be Recycled

Five go Dobbing in the Neighbours

15 Years of Typos

16 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All
bottom of page