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Sunak 'gaffe pool' winner tries to collect winnings early



A group of aides to the Prime Minister faced a dilemma today when one of them declared he'd obviously won the 'gaffe pool' and demanded his winnings.


'You all laughed at me when I said he'd blow off the D-Day veterans - but he did, so pay up.'


However, the others reminded him the criterion is the worst gaffe Sunak makes in the whole election campaign, and there are still several weeks to go.


'The D-Day thing... yeah, still can't quite believe he did that. But I think there's still time for much worse to happen,' said one aide, who's bet on him setting fire to a homeless shelter.


'Too right,' said his colleague, whose money is on Sunak pissing on an orphaned refugee. 'And I need the money, since I'm going to be unemployed on July 5th. No one's going to employ a former Sunak aide, they probably think he's doing all these things on our advice!'


'I'm afraid he’s right,' said a third guy. 'I thought I'd won when he asked the Welsh if they were looking forward to the football.


'You've got the cringe phoney bloke-ishness, combined with forgetting that Wales and England are different countries. For anyone else, that‘s as bad as it could get, right? But with Sunak... frankly, we can't call it until the election's well and truly over. He might even get the name of the country wrong in the concession speech.'


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