top of page

Sweatshops to be modelled on Candy Crush


'Admittedly we’ve received a lot of bad press recently,' said one jaded Executive. 'What with all the explosions, asbestosis, suicide nets blah, blah blah. But we’re the good guys, right? We’re the reason that your smart phones are so cheap. Which is when our PR boys said we should try some paradoxical marketing. Use the love of cheap phones and apps to our advantage – bingo!'


All indentured staff will wear brightly coloured overalls and refer to themselves as 'Candy'. Phrases like 'Death Trap' will be banned from the work place and replaced with more positive descriptors such as 'Liquorice Tower'. Instead of fire alarms there will be a deep, sultry American voice saying 'Delicious!' While Striped Candy will shower the CEO every time corporate tax is avoided or a fair-trade competitor goes bust.


‘And when we clear out the 'dead' candies, we can start all over again!'





IMAGE: https://pixabay.com/users/pexels-2286921/

22 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

Despite live-tweeting the killing of Osama, it turns out the CIA spent much of the 80s sending Afghan warlords $630 million in annual payments, in exchange for explicit images of Bin Laden provocative

Using its billionaire dollar empire, Facebook intends to purchase creative ownership of large portions of the English language and a significant portion of the air you breathe. A Facebook executive e

Disguised under the pretext of a kit launch, Britain’s athletes took time out of their busy schedule - of avoiding drug tests - to show off more bulging pectorals than a Zac Efron calendar. Oiled lik

bottom of page