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The 70s is sick and tired of your bitching.

In fact, the 70s is so confident that they can eclipse 2019, they are happy to put the Wombles in a cage fight with Peppa Pig. Remarked one mulleted, bell-bottom wearing, Led Zeppelin groupie: ‘Oh yes, woe is us, with our worker’s rights, home ownership and jobs that pay a living wage. We may only have three TV channels, but they’re all good ones. You can have your HS2 – we’ve got roller skates!’

So, when journalists talk about politicians dragging us back to the 70’s, ask yourself - do you prefer Bowie to Lil Pump, would you rather watch Morcombe & Wise or Corden & Horne? Said the late Oliver Postgate: ‘When Bagpuss told you to go to sleep, you went to sleep, you didn’t spend all night sexting your school friends on Twitface.’

Explained David Cassidy's Mum: ‘Not only did we have the only good Star Wars movie. We may have been obsessed with Space Hoppers but at least we didn’t elect one as our Prime Minister.’ In the words of the Bay City Rollers: ‘Bye Bye Baby & Shove It Up Yer Jacksie.’

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