Mild mannered cock-wobbler by day, by night Theresa May is crypto-anarchist with her own brand of vigilante justice and leather pants. She explained how it started: 'Boris had b$tch tits. He was in a support group for the men responsible for Brexit. The big moosie slobbering all over me… that was Boris. The next thing I know, I'm stripped to the waist - being cheered on by back-benchers - pounding on Michael Gove's smug face'.
Her top secret 'Project May-hem', designed to bring down Western Civilization, is already in its final stages.
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