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Theresa May found with Lord Lucan

The UK Missing Persons Bureau has called off the search for the UK's Prime Minister, having found her in an attic above 10 Downing Street, alongside Elvis, a stash of Nazi gold and the Lindbergh Baby.  Many had feared the worse when Mrs May stopped attending interviews and answering questions, although others put that down to two years of PMQ's with Jeremy Corbyn.

Aides attest to Mrs May starting to blend into her environment, the confines of a locked wardrobe. Last seen, by twenty photographers, pointing at random machinery in an empty factory; Mrs May had proved increasingly elusive on the campaign trail - given often to hiding in hard-to-reach places, like Scotland or her husband's tax returns. 

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