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Three million Syrian refugees become three million reluctant seamstresses.

Fashionistas have rushed to purchase 'off the boat' Refugee Chic, a style that says: 'I like travel, excitement and being fished out of the Mediterranean’. It is soaked in the blood, sweat and tears of child migrants, but with a cheeky hint of haute couture.

The UK fashion industry has long had the ethical oversight of a fox in a chicken coup; managing to make falling into the hands of human traffickers, the lesser of two evils – and with shorter working days. Vogue commented: ‘We condone the exploitation of refugees, but applaud this mélange of clothing ideas, combining the morally reprehensible with autumnal shades.’

At last skinny, malnourished waifs now have the opportunity to sew clothing for skinny, malnourished waifs - in high heels. Some children working in Turkish factories have attempted escape by sewing themselves into the lining of clothing posted to the UK. Fortunately with Asos' rigorous returns policy, the majority have been sent back to Syria.

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