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Toilet to come with curry setting

Armitage Shanks have designed a bowl that can extend its capacity to deal with ‘Delhi belly’ eruptions. With the press of a button, gossamer toilet roll appears, scented aroma is released, all followed by an industrial Bidet action - reminiscent of a firefighter’s hose.

One engineer explained: ‘Appliances need to reflect our lifestyles and how we use them – for instance vacuum attachments should really come with a lubrication and vibrate setting. Likewise, hair straighteners should have a ‘tribal tattoo’ mode, so you can vary the type of scarring it will give you’. Said one happy owner: ‘It’s like an iPhone 7 but for my arse – so a Samsung basically.’

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