Updated: Jul 19
The Prime Minister gave her full-throated support for nuclear missile system that has all the accuracy of a drunk aiming for the toilet bowl. Despite knowing that Trident was unable to hit a cow's arse with a banjo, Theresa May demanded that the House of Commons back its renewal; stating: 'I shot an arrow into the air, it fell to earth, I knew not where'.
You could argue that in the event of global thermonuclear warfare, accuracy will not be as big an issue as 10ft cockroaches and being chased by Mad Max. Said one bemused Admiral: 'It's a deterrent alright. It's deterred us from spending £31bn on a weapon that fails as a deterrent and fails as a weapon. The one thing that Mutually Assured Destruction was supposed to guarantee was destruction...now it can't even deliver that'.
If you enjoyed this archive item, why not buy thousands of archive stories found in our eBooks, paperbacks and hardbacks?